| Range cookers and American fridge freezers are a | | | | evil-tasting glacier, inexorably from the back of the |
| welcome replacement for their sorry British | | | | fridge week after menacing week. |
| counterparts – and they look great, too. | | | | Range cookers are the heated equivalent of all this |
| The Americans are really good at one thing: being big. | | | | glorious space: like American fridge freezers, range |
| Their cars are big; their expansionist foreign policies are | | | | cookers (which, as the name suggests, would look |
| big; and their domestic appliances are big. Unlike their | | | | amply at home in the smokehouse of a 3 million acre |
| cars, which are appallingly bad for the environment, or | | | | ranch) are built according to the idea that more than |
| their foreign policy, which is appallingly bad for | | | | one person might be living in a house. Range cookers |
| everyone, American fridge freezers and range | | | | have vast hobs (usually five or seven) sweeping over |
| cookers are awesome additions to any home – | | | | a pair of side-by-side ovens – so whole meals can |
| particularly the traditionally stuffy homes of the Brits. | | | | actually be cooked all at the same time, without |
| American fridge freezers, by stark contrast, glory in | | | | resorting to that peculiarly English device of |
| their use of space. The freezer compartment in | | | | “keeping everything warm”, i.e., trapping it in |
| American fridge freezers is exactly the same size as | | | | overheated pots until everything’s gone mushy. |
| the fridge bit: a device made possible by the fact that | | | | Range cookers, again like American fridge freezers |
| American fridge freezers are split vertically rather than | | | | (and like old American cars, before Ford decided that |
| laterally. American fridge freezers have a pair of swing | | | | “cool” meant “like an enormous radio |
| doors: one side opens to reveal a fridge, in which as | | | | controlled toy”) are extremely stylish. They have |
| much storage space is enabled by the guts of the | | | | something of the look of an industrial cooker, crossed |
| door itself as the bowels of the fridge; and the other | | | | with the plump comfort of an Aga. Generally, range |
| side lets you into a freezer. Again, the door part of the | | | | cookers either get finished in super-modern heavy |
| freezer section holds almost as much stuff as the | | | | duty brushed metal, or pleasingly fat paints that make |
| actual freezer: which means American fridge freezers | | | | them look as though they have fallen through time |
| can realistically support a whole family, rather than a | | | | from the 1950s, when having apple pie was a real |
| single man who only eats ice cream. | | | | treat and America hadn’t taken over the universe. |
| The British kitchen, usually, is the habitat of small and | | | | In a British kitchen, alongside American fridge freezers, |
| boring things. British fridge freezers, unlike American | | | | range cookers look like home: a lot more appealing |
| fridge freezers, are dumpy little boxes made of easily | | | | than the dumpy plastic nonsense the inhabitants of this |
| crackable ugly white plastic, only suitable for food | | | | green and pleasant land have, for too long, been |
| storage if the house is occupied by a single person. | | | | content to call appliances. |
| The freezer compartment on British fridge freezers is | | | | Are you interested in range cooker or would like to |
| laughable, usually giving enough space to hold one tub | | | | know more about American fridge freezers then visit |
| of ice cream, one bag of frozen peas and that ugly | | | | Big Appliances who specialise in big kitchen appliances. |
| lump of encroaching ice that moves, like some kind of | | | | |