| Sesame Street must exist in an alternate universe. I | | | | light is burnt out may exist on Sesame Street West. |
| recently asked a fellow, "Can you tell me how to get, | | | | On such a street, I can envision drive-by shootings |
| how to get to Sesame Street, where the air is | | | | being commonplace, where gum and kool-aid are |
| sweet?" He gazed at me rather curiously and quickly | | | | viciously shot at defenseless muppets using slingshots |
| walked away. I searched today, but couldn't find | | | | and supersoakers. Upon that street in the West Side |
| Sesame Street on Google Earth or MapQuest. I would | | | | are extremely poor muppets who don't have the |
| like to find this wondrous street, and perhaps live there | | | | financial ability to afford high-quality carpet cleaners to |
| even as a homeless man. I would very much like to | | | | bathe with after being victims of the latter-stated gum |
| live in a place where it's sunny every day and be able | | | | and kool-aid attacks. In the West, a big bird will restrict |
| to bask in the cool shade next to Oscar's trash can.I | | | | himself to being friends with only another big bird and |
| yearn for cookies. I feel as if I'm destined to live in a | | | | never a snuffleupagus -- a big bird whose heart isn't |
| world (or on a street) where gluttony is an acceptable | | | | blind to the appearance of other muppets. This is the |
| practice -- a street where Cookie Monster, not Diet Pill | | | | dreary avenue where muppets will kill other muppets |
| Monster, is a renowned icon. A safe street which is | | | | for having religious or political beliefs not matching their |
| routinely patrolled by Super Grover would give me the | | | | own.As a constituent, I would demand a street where |
| security I require to sleep well at night, and the comfort | | | | shop keepers would not behave like crazed vigilantes; |
| to take frequent naps during the sunny daylight hours. I | | | | they would call the police when I shoplift instead of |
| have fantasies at night about using the free email | | | | violently attempting to retard my life using a |
| hosting enjoyed by Elmo, never having to worry about | | | | semi-automatic weapon. I hope to one day walk down |
| spam, nor malicious trojans. I'm almost hypnotically | | | | a street where capitalism is not confused with |
| drawn to a neighborhood where there is a big bird, but | | | | exploitation, and where shop keepers will act in a |
| never a big turd.I have dreams of feeling sheltered in a | | | | proper fashion. I have a dream to walk hand-in-hand |
| neighborhood which is devoid of junkies, pimps, and | | | | with muppets everywhere, singing gaily to upbeat |
| antidpressant pushers. Pausing for a moment, I'll admit | | | | music, dancing merrily along a clean street -- a dream |
| that somewhere in this spacious universe there may | | | | where even a grouch who chooses to reside in a |
| be a Sesame Street West where puppets, muppets, | | | | trashcan is not a complete outcast. In the interim, I will |
| and their human caretakers are struggling to survive in | | | | retain my optimism, and search for other dreams while |
| a cold, callous world. A dark street where every other | | | | napping occasionally. |